A New Day.

I am beginning to feel Alive again.

Each day is a new day that brings lessons, understanding, and hope. I am finally looking forward to my near future and no longer holding on to the past. Instead, the past is now my teaching tool that helps me not make the sames mistakes again. Because you know what they say about making the same mistakes……twice!

So here I am. Temporarily unemployed and happy. My new job begins in about 3 weeks. I will be moving to my new home then as well. The next two weeks is all about packing packing packing. Leaving the past behind. Out with the old, in with the new.

This past week I got cold feet. I went to bed thinking about “what the hell did I just get into??? Being an expat/nomad has led me to have a quite interesting lifestyle. Since graduating from college I have changed addresses twice a year. lived in 5 different U.S. states and nearly 10 towns. When marriage came, I thought “this was it.” But apparently not. There seems to still b some moving around to do. So as the cold feet cam on, I was thinking things like : “What if Belle gets really sick?” “Or the weather is unbearable for her?” “What if there are big bugs or rodents?” “What if there is a major power outage and there isn’t any diesel”? “What if I become a victim of a crime?” Then I started regretting not having a man in my life. Now I’m beginning to see the importance of having a life partner and not just a husband. I can’t do it all alone. I have to, but I don’t want to.I want him….wherever you are. Find me soon.

I spoke with another amazing single expat mama like myself and she helped to reassure that everything will be okay. Thank God for this blog because we would never have crossed paths in a million years. It’s one thing to get reassurance or advice from a good friend, but it’s another to get it from someone who is actually experiencing a similar situation.

A new day has also come because Papa and I and beginning to start a friendship. There are still feelings, and I believe there will always be because of the marriage and our daughter. I try not to over analyze our new found relationship though. I’m learning to go with the flow.

He has Belle for the next two weeks, which would allow me to pack  without distractions. Oh, and enjoy some free time!

This past two weeks has been a whirlwind of events like going up to Jersye for about 4 days to sepnd time with the fam. My mother and I took Belle to Coney Island, and it was such a great experience…..for Belle that is. Me, not so much. She got on her first few rides and took it like a champ. My baby is already strong character. She shows resilience to everything. Kinda like her mama, but even stronger.

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